I feel so stupid for being in the situation where the "incident" happened. It was date rape although not exactly a "date" date. Only 2 people know exactly (as honest as I could be) how this happened and the circumstances.
I remember the words he used and my brain wouldn't connect what he was alluding to with an actual act. The state I live in calls this aggravated sexual assault.
Where do I say the gory details ? Who do I ask to be my witness ?
I am so afraid I will be judged and am extremely embarrassed about the whole thing. I'm going to have to give voice (mine) to what happened - I can feel it coming to the surface.
I am terrified of that voice.
I just feel so stupid.
I HATE IT AND WHAT HE DID !!!
I am angry with myself for allowing him to rob me of my voice. Jeez, I am sooo ready to be done with this process.
What he did was degrading and obscene.
I just feel bad when I think about it. At least I am functioning in the world and look together.
Today is better than last week. It isn't better than yesterday....go figure.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
11 comments:
I will be your witness, dg.
I'm here. Anytime you need me to be. Ok?
Thanks lb. That witness thing is pretty important. Actually, it is having someone witness my recovery that is the big prize.
I am humbled by your willingness to do that - thank you.
dg
You are far from stupid my friend. I will always be your witness and your friend. You did nothing wrong and I'm here for you.
Thanks and I know.
Damn
that really sucks
bad
Dont worry about being judged, people who would judge you aren't worthy of you time anyway.
I need to remember that SS.
You need to voice this, to let it out, until you do, he wins...
You are right Jennybean. That mother-fucker already took too much from me. I refuse to let him take my voice.
Try not to feel stupid, dg.
No one would be able to anticiapte that their basic protection needs are about to be violated.
you couldn't possibly have expected it. you are not at all stupid.
Lavilau and princess - you are both right. I know it in my head but it is taking awhile for my heart to catch on. I'm thinking no one could have expected what he did. Jeez, he is such an asshole.
I seem to be ended quite a few posts that way today - possibly the anger phase is kicking in. LOL
Post a Comment