Day 21

Guess the title says it all. It is odd that I feel worse today than I did on Friday. I don't understand how that happens. Supposedly it is part of the "Acute Trauma" phase. I don't want to be part of "Acute Trauma" anymore.

The loophole - I am still searching for that Holy Grail. I saw the counselor today and she said that I was "sodomized anally with an object without my consent." I remember being amazed at her ability to say those words in such a calm manner.

I am in my fog again. People are outside my office and I don't want to be part of it. I don't want to be part of my "Acute Trauma" response. I don't want to be a victim of

RAPE

There, I said it and don't feel any different.

Should I ?