It is just so freakin' icky to think of the word. I still want to find a loophole, ya' know ?
Every time I think about what happens a shiver goes down my spine.
I've managed to go to work, do the Mom things, etc this week as it isn't invading my brain all the time now. I feel like a Stepford person at times - lol.
Going through the motions is better than curling up in the dark.
I want to reclaim ALL my life - he took enough.
I woke up tired today - that weary tired that permeates your bones and soul.
I feel a little foggy - the damn images keep getting up in my face instead of staying in my periphery. That is our agreement - I won't ignore them and they stay there when I need to function. One of us is breaking the rule.
The tears are barely under the surface. I must keep them contained when I'm out in the real world. (Note to self - pick up some M & Ms plus Bonnie Raitt for a cryfest later).
I really hate the process of healing. Only choice I have.
That sucks.
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8 comments:
I can really relate to the pictures popping up and not leaving you alone. They don't play by the rules. It takes time (and a whole lot of it) but it gets easier eventually.
from your lips to God's ears !!!
Well I cant even imagine
and probably cant help but I wish I could help you some way.
Good luck in beating it.
Glad you've got my back SS. You have helped.
one step at a time, and just keep making the choice...
Thx Jennybean. Yeah, one step at a time. Some days (like today) are two steps :)
it's still so fresh in your mind and you need lots of time to really think things over and draw inner strength. love your kids...i know it's hard sometimes when adults are sad/upset and we try to hide it from the kids, hence your title. it will get easier to feel "normal"...whatever that is for you.
Thanks princess. Fortunately stepford girl isn't around as often. God he is an asshole though!!
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